My thoughts for today- A Walk Down Memory Lane
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I have had a weight problem my whole life. But thank goodness I was athletic in school or my weight would have been a problem alot sooner. I remember even when I was little, going on diets. Its horrible to be so young and know that, "hey, I'm overweight." I guess it all started right being a real problem right before I got married. But first let me give you a little background. I met my husband when I was 13, we dated for a while and then grew apart. He was 17 and fixing to go into the Marine Corps. and I was still a kid. We kept in contact some over the years, but not much. He was my first love. ~sigh~ So, six years later, we get back together. I moved in with him and within a few months he asked me to marry him. Well, one night about a week before the wedding I dreamed that I had gained weight and couldn't fit into the "perfect" wedding dress that I had picked out. So in a rush I ran down and tried it on again to make sure it still fit. And sure enough, I could not fit into it. It was horrible. I went on like this gaining weight and not very aware of it. I can remember going to a Valentine's day ball and getting the pictures back that we had taken at this ball, I cried when I saw them. I asked my husband why he didn't tell me I had gained so much weight. Like it was his fault. lol. But form then, no matter how much I exercised, and no matter what diet I went on, I could not stop gaining weight. and so now here I am at the point of no return. And I am going to have surgery.
I guess that my pending surgery still hasn't sunk in yet. I wonder when it will. I was going to have it this month but my mom wanted to be here for it. So I scheduled it around when she could be here. It will be nice to have her with me. She's the best nurse I've ever had. I have 3 wks and 4 days left until the surgery, woohoo! LOL I won't be saying that the day after surgery. I go for my pre-op on March the 4th. So that is something I am looking forward to checking off my list of "things to do before surgery".
I just can't wait to be at a healthy weight. and to be able to run and play with my children. It is so discouraging always watching the fun because I'm too tired...ha! Imagine...being too tired to play... I never thought I would be like that, but I am, and its a sad state to be in. I thought I could lose weight on my own but I realize now that I need a tool to help me. I know that it is not a magic wand and that I have to work at losing weight and keeping it off. I am definately willing to do that.